Top Ten Reasons You've Been in China too Long
(I'm aspiring to be David Letterman's replacement. I don't always get the latest news here so please let me know if there's ever a job opening)

10. You've been woken up no less than 12 times from the sound of firecrackers.
 9. You ask for extra rice with your Cornflakes (wait a minute what are Cornflakes?!? Never mind, you  just ask for extra rice).
 8. You're starting to ask for five dollars every time someone takes a picture of you. You can now afford a plane ticket out of the country.
 7. You know where Jiaoshu, Meizhou and Shaoxing are.
 6. Sit down toilets are starting to confuse you.
 5. You walk fearlessly into oncoming traffic.
 4. Free Tibet!!! (Doesn't matter how long you've been in China for, your opinion shouldn't change on this one).
 3. You're asking for an electric bike for Christmas.
 2. Entering and exiting the subway is a boxing match you look forward to every day.
 1. What's so gross about eating pigs blood?